Thursday, December 17, 2009

Two Years Ago

Two years ago from today started out like any other Monday. I got up early and left for my job where I worked as a nanny for two little boys. Mondays were a half day for me. I spent the morning playing with my little charges. After they went down for their nap I called my mom. I needed advice about something. We talked while I swept the floor. She mentioned my dad had stayed home from work that day, and they had spend a great morning together, just hanging out. She said that they were taking Drew and Bella to see Santa Clause that night at San Tan Mall.

I said I would meet them there for a little bit. It was our week to be with Ryan's family for family night but he didn't get off until 8 that evening so I figured I could do both.

Later that evening I headed to the mall. It was the first time I had driven there in the dark and I got lost. I almost turned around and went home. But after a quick phone call to my dad I found my way and was able to meet up with everyone. Matt, Becky, Dad, Mom, Jesse, Drew and Bella. We had fun in the short hour I was there. Drew and Bella stood in line to see Santa Clause, but got scared at the last second. The picture ended up being with Mom holding Drew and Bella on Santa's lap :)

The time was nearing for me to leave. I walk
ed with my family to the restaurant they were eating dinner at. Mom and I walked arm in arm. She caught me up on the latest news with Jesse and a girl that he liked. We giggled.

As we parted ways in the restaurant, I told them all bye and I loved them and I'd see them later. That was the last time I saw my mom alive.

Two hours later Ryan and I were at his parent's house playing cards when I got the call from Becky that Mom had passed out in the car on the way home from the mall. We raced to the hospital.

The next 4 days were painful and full of tears. We learned that Mom had had a heart attack and would not regain consciousness. We said our goodbyes to her on Thursday, December 20th.

I'm writing this post this morning through tears. I woke up and couldn't shake these vivid memories; the good, the bad. God was so good to allow our family such a special, memory making day with Mom before she died. But that doesn't make it easier. I miss her so much. The ache in my heart since she died hasn't gone away. I wish we had more time together. I wish I had gotten to know her better, not just as my mom, but as my friend. I wish she could be a grandmother to Owen and Austin. There are so many ways I miss her, but I know God is sovereign in His will and timing and Mom certainly is whe
re she always wanted to be. Heaven.

She was one of the godliest women I ever knew. She was a wonderful example of the Proverbs 31 woman. She sought the Lord daily. She loved to love others. I'm grateful I had the privilege of being her daughter for 20 years. Her legacy continues after her; often if I need advice and wonder what she would tell me I don't have to think for long; she would direct me back to scripture and what God's word says about living our lives. She left a major impact on my life. I miss her much, but I'm rejoicing in her memory today.

"The memory of the righteous is a blessing"
Proverbs 10:7

With Mom and Dad Halloween '07


Brandy said...

Danae - I read this through tears this morning. What a wonderful testimony of your mom and what an amazing woman you have turned out to be. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I have some of the same feelings regarding all the things I wish my mom could share with me since I lost my mom at 21. I will pray for you to continue healing and to continue sharing about your mom so that she lives on. She would be proud.

Randal, Erin & our 5 sweet Girlies said...

Danae ~ I am so sad for your loss! Your Mom WAS an amazing, kind, godly & lovable woman! She was the kind of Wife & Mommy we all hope to be & she was SO much fun! I used to love hanging out with your Mom at youth events, getting her Mommy-ing advice & just being her friend! I haven't told you this but when we were visiting our family in AZ the year your Mom died, I got to see her &, once again, experience her sweetness! We were there for 10 days at the beginning of December, so right before. We were at church & your Mom, literally, ran across the foyer to me & gave me the sweetest, warmest hug! She said how happy she was to see me/us & asked all about us & our sweet little girls! The day I heard about her passing away, I cried & told Randal about the sweet moment we had together, just DAYS before! Thank you for the sweet tribute to your Mom! She would be so blessed! I know your Mom is proud of the Wife & Mommy you have become! I am sad that we both have had the sadness of losing our Mom's at a very young age. I am grateful that God has brought others together who have had the same experiences in life, to encourage, love & understand! I lost my Mom at 18 on December 11th, my Randal lost his Mom at 8 on December 23rd & you also, at a young age, in December too. I cried when I read your post & I am praying for you today! I love you & your Mom!


Anonymous said...

I miss Joneen so much she was my little sister, my best friend, my daughter, my prayer warrior, my counselor, and my special cousin. Aunt Mae left her in my care when she was little in her will because that is what Joneen wanted. I cry often for my own sake from the memories we shared together clear to the day she was born. I carried her around like she was mine, only mine...she was the cutest baby I had ever seen and just gave me big hugs and kisses all the time calling me her sister. I remember when I had my first date and was getting ready and she was at her home getting ready too, because a determined girl she was she going with me. When I went to Germany Joneen and my mother spent days of tears waiting for me to return as I did in Germany missing my special ones at home. As a young lady she was there visiting and giving gifts to my children on the holidays. When I was going through hard times in my life she was on the phone every minute it seemed making sure I got through the day or the night. Her memories are so special to me and what a great union we will have... to visit eternity with no time limit because she is the one that led me to the Lord saving me and my family from the road to darkness. It seemed we never had enough time as we got older to just visit and talk about our pass together, the present, and what we would like for the future. Her family is special to me too they are extensions of her and they will always be in my prayers.

tara said...

Been praying for you today.

I have vivid memories not so much of that day but that night, the phone call, meeting you all in the er and the following four days. Your mom was amazing, I miss her.

You are a wonderful part of her legacy Danae. She poured her heart and soul into raising you. She would be proud to see the Godly wife & mom you are today.

I love you.

Emily Baker said...

I got up and got my makeup all ready for Christmas pictures (yes, late...I know) and then read your blog. I think I'm going to have to reapply my mascara. God bless you today. I can't imagine how hard it must be.